When those feelings fade away..

I hate when I really like or even love a boy and my feelings for them start to fade away and there is nothing I can do about it. I try to recapture those feelings I once felt for that person but it seems the more I try the faster those feelings fade till eventually those feelings of love, compassion, ecstasy, bliss are completely gone. And when I see him, I dont feel that nervousness or butterflies in my stomach, all I see is a person who knows my name, in other words a stranger and it makes my heart hurt ,but not because I miss you or love you it hurts because what we had between each other was special and no one in this world could match that feeling but we let is slip pass our fingers and we can never get that back and no matter how hard I try to bring back and find those feelings I once had, I just cant find them and that what truly breaks my heart is when all those moments we had together are just memories that will eventually also fade away but will not be forgotten so until I find that boy where my feelings for him will never fade away not even till death do us part. I apologize to those who I may cause you heartbreak, pain, or any harm because under no circumstances would I ever hurt you intentionally, so again I say I am sorry from the bottom of my heart I am truly sorry.